The Day of Silence: Silencing their Daughters

As many of you may be aware, Friday April 16 was the Day of Silence. The Day of Silence is an event to raise awareness of how difficult and trapping it can feel to be a gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered or questioning person. I, for one, took a vow of silence from 8 am to 3 pm. This vow symbolized my support of those students at my school who currently feel silenced out of fear of rejection, hatred or for any other reason. All participants were given a ‘speaking card’ to explain to others why they are not talking. People who were unable to take the vow but would like to show their support could wear rainbow ribbons.

This year, to preface the event, there was an exhibit put up at my school done by a photographer who identifies as gay. He has taken pictures of high school and college athletes who are out to their teams. Before the assembly introducing this exhibit, letters went home to parents explaining the exhibit. Any parent wishing to have their child opt out of the assembly was welcome to contact the school. I go to a very liberal public high school in New England. However, two of my close friends’ parents contacted the school.

Emily and Kelsey* are best friends. They have been for quite some time. Emily’s parents called the school and said that homosexuality was against their religion and that Emily was not to attend this assembly. Kelsey’s father took it a little further. He, and his lawyer, attempted to sue the school. The exhibit went along as planned, with only 2 censorships as a result of the lawsuit. During the assembly the dean of students was placed at the door making sure that Emily and Sarah and the few other kids who were not allowed to go did not enter. Kelsey told me that if she was found in the auditorium, her father would be notified and she would be in big trouble at home.

The thing that neither Emily nor Kelsey’s parents know, is that, while they are best friends, they are also girlfriends. Emily and Kelsey came out to a group of people last year and by now most of the school knows. At this point, their parents know nothing of it. I asked Kelsey, “What would you dad do if he knew?” “Take me out of school and send me to therapy. That would be him being reasonable. Or he’d send me away to a program that ‘teaches you to overcome your homosexual tendencies’.” As a straight girl in a very open and accepting family this seems foreign and unreal. However, to many kids and teenagers the reality of how parents, friends and loved ones will take their coming out is something they must think of everyday. So on Friday, I was silent. I challenge you to take a vow next year, wear a ribbon, open a conversation.

*Names have been changed for the anonymity and protection of these girls.